grrlTravels back to China

Hao Si Mao

Mao-Mao is such a sweet little guy. He has done amazingly well on our trip and I feel proud of him.

The grieving was not as intense or as devastating as I had feared. M-M's grieving was intermittent, not sustained; ditto for his sleep issues; ditto for the 100 niggly other little things you worry about as a new adoptive parent: pooping, communicating, bonding, eating, attaching, playing. We went up and down and up down with him, but there was more up than I had anticipated.

He was quite spoiled by the foster parents and there are some behavioral issues which will need to be tackled quite soon after we return home. He can throw a loud crying fit with the best of them, and he uses his fits frequently to express his needs and wants. He has very few boundaries, does not seem to understand limits. He throws his food around with wild abandon as he eats and tosses his plate on the floor when he is finished. His foster parents told us he ruled the dinner table and the entire family catered to him, eating in shifts around his demands.

M-M seems quick and intuitive. We show him something twice and he is ready to try it. He has four signs already which he uses unprompted: eat, more, please, and thank you. (Food is very motivating for M-M. VERY. Motivating.) He is curious and interested, friendly and silly.

He is still mostly attached to K. which has made the transition for Z. a bit easier and the transition with E. a bit harder. (E. tells me today that sometimes he thinks about M-M getting hurt or in trouble, Z. getting hurt or in trouble, and he likes thinking about that. I tell him that we are all adjusting and it will take some time. He can think those things right now if he needs to, and soon we will all be less tired and feel better.) He cries when K. leaves the room and wants to be held all of the time. He is still quite jealous of the other children and pushes, hits, slaps and bites on occasion to get them away from him or K. It has been hard on K. as it is hard on anyone when someone demands comfort and attention 24/7. We are taking it all one day at a time.

Mao-Mao. Ren-Ren. The rest of us are heading home, but M-M is heading to a completely strange environment where everything is new and nothing is familiar. I feel for him. I long for the day when our home is home to him, our family is his family, our love is accepted and returned. And I long for the day when we get to know the real Mao-Mao. There is a fabulous little boy waiting to blossom.

Thank you, People's Republic of China. Thank you, CCAA. Thank you, loving foster parents. We will do our best to honor the promises we made to you, and raise a caring, productive, happy little guy.

Posted by grrlTravels at February 23, 2008 10:46 PM | TrackBack